A little kid touches another kid on the street and both children instantly drop dead. Anthony is in a fit over all the work he's missed and says it's obvious that the forces of death are working overtime to shoulder his load. Now they've branched out to killing innocent people before their time. Kell smokes a joint and passes a pipe and says, "Silverfish live under waterbeds. Never get a waterbed, my bony friend."

Viceroy has opened a new orphanage to replace the one lost to fire or flood or trolls or whatever the damn hell thing was that destroyed it.
"Next stop, Leesville," Viceroy tells Commandant confidentially. And then Viceroy's boss, the Adjutant Major of the Frontier, appears wearing a dinner jacket and bow tie without a stitch of clothing below his waist. His sad penis exerts it's own little pirouette in front of the eyes of the children. Viceroy begins clapping and shouts to Commandant, "My god, he's topped himself!"

The boys break into tears over the unexpected male nudity and Adjutant Major exclaims, "Bunch of lilly-livered cods! In my day we saw our fathers naked all the time. In the pool, wearing sneakers, goggles, and nothing else!"
Adjutant advances on Commandant and lifts his hand high and says, "God damn, Roy. You've gone and blown the lot again. Where is your force?"
"They're tapped," Commandant says. "And who is Roy?"
"Everyone's Roy or Harvey to the Adjutant," Viceroy whispers in Commandant's ear, then turns to Adjutant Major and exclaims, "What a lovely day for a parade, yes?"
Adjutant considers and says, "This yearly custom has become an annual tradition."

Then photographers clamor for shots of the three most prominent figures of Eberhart and the Frontier to stand for a photo. Adjutant is caressing Commandant's back with his fingers while they all stand close together, whispering to Commandant, "A little pecker can still shoot a great geyser of jizz. These boys don't realize the tautness of their young muscles. Give me three nights alone with them and not one will turn out to be hardened criminal. They'll all be for god's sake Methodists, sure as I shit here." And immediately he craps his pants and the smell drives the photographers into some kind of frenzy.

Kell wanders in with Anthony and they are flooded by protests from herbal bouncers circulating around the room. They present some form of counterfeit pass and are allowed to enter into the auditorium and get right near the center stage with its waiting microphone. Leggy women in short skirt begin parading their mammaries in front of the boys, all the boys drooling over free lunch just out of reach. One boy gooses another and that boy turns and shouts, "Sit on it, creep!" and then slashes his throat with a shiv he's carved from a brush handle. Chaos reigns and Kell whispers to Anthony that it's been almost five minutes since the last Baroline, but because his gums have dissolved and all his teeth are gone, all that comes out is, "Mmmmm glubble ny gradle grrvy." Anthony nods along until vultures enter the auditorium and begin circling the rioting boys.

Viceroy becomes upset about being shown up in front of his boss and demands Commandant flood the chamber with tear gas.
"Crowd this size," Commandant says. "Can't shoot straight into them or we're liable to kill a pregnant woman. You'd think there'd be no pregnant women in a crowd of orphan boys but you'd be wrong."
"Fuck it all," Adjutant says. "I'm gonna unveil the crest."
He approaches the microphone and says, "Boys, why are we fighting? Don't you know that women have it a million times easier than men? Don't you know that the real enemy is not other men but women? Look at them, there are some here. Big-tittied Mary Jane circles the room with her cunt smelling of Pine Fresh-"
"That's New Car Scent!" one of the women shouts. "Only the best for me!"
"And there you have it," Adjutant concludes. "There's nothing deeper than a whore's cunt and there's nothing more whorish than having a cunt to begin with. Let's stop fighting and all enjoy the new orphanage." At this, he pulls a rope that drops a curtain to unveil the entrance of the orphanage. There is a large sign featuring two boys in a 69 position and beneath that it displays the school's motto: For children and against!

Viceroy pushes up the sleeves of his spotted Oxford cloth shirt and exclaims, "Would you look at that?! They got it all wrong! I said two boys coming OUT of a 69! I wanted cum on the lips, damn it!"
A boy raises his hand and says, "You can come on my lips, Viceroy, sir."
"You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Viceroy commands and is heckled by Kell, "Maybe you kissed his mother with that mouth and now she's dead! Take the boy home with you!"
A flurry of guards descend on Kell and Anthony passes out from the commotion. Truncheons are brought down repeatedly on Kell's back and neck until he's unconscious. His hair is covered in blood and sticks up at crazy iceberg angles.

A bus crashes through the opening of the auditorium and crushes half of the boys, throwing the rest forward onto the stage. The driver leans out of the bus and says, "Fuck me! I'm bingo'd!" before throwing it into reverse and backing straight into the adjoining wall. Kell is forgotten and the vultures begin their descent. Anthony recovers and tries to wake Kell but now it is beyond anyone's control. Kell is truly crapped out and Anthony refuses to go down with him.

Viceroy calls from the stage, his affected eight inch cigarette filter now lost, that any survivors should report to the front of the auditorium so that the police may cuff them as accessories.
"Accessories?" Commandant questions. "They just got run over! Accessories to what?"
"Mayhem," Viceroy answers casually. "Conspiracy to incite violence and disorder. Death in such a manner is clearly a breach of the peace and just because you survive doesn't mean you're free to escape the rule of law."

Camera retracts from the front of the stage and glides on a pulley towards the gaping hole in the auditorium entrance, back through the hole, off the guide wire, and floats swiftly into the sky as though it is a large balloon.
"God damn it!" Adjutant Major exclaims. "That camera had three days left until retirement!"