Wrongway Gary is left the deed to a restaurant by an embittered old uncle who believes that Gary, a notorious scam artist and low character, has wasted his life in pursuit of not growing up. It was hoped that the provisions of the will would rope the wayward man-child into responsibility. His first thought is to sell the restaurant and head west with the money but nobody’s buying because the building lies on a fault line and the insurance premiums are through the roof. So Wrongway Gary, who is an ugly and bitter man, tries to burn it down but there’s no wood in the building, not even the basement. He shatters every wine bottle in the cellar and then gets to work tearing up the kitchen. He takes out the windows and replaces them with nylon shower curtains. But people still come. People come and they congratulate Gary on his good sense to import a famous European chef. Well Wrongway Gary’s had enough of this and he kills the chef and serves him to the customers one piece at a time. People say it’s the best food served in the city and it becomes the new trend, a long waiting list populated by celebrities, the nearly famous, American Idol participants, international jetsetters in Prada and Versace.

Desperate to end the adulation and rising costs of providing for these people, Wrongway Gary admits that he’s killed the chef and replaced him with a homeless man, that he’s served the flesh of the dead chef to patrons and that the mayor of the city himself has eaten at least half a pound of human flesh. This only drives up the prestige of the place and it becomes an even hotter nightspot until there is a line of people behind a velvet rope that stretches halfway around the block.
“Well I’ll show them,” Wrongway Gary says to himself one night. “I’ll just put poison in all the food and let them die.” And he begins to poison the food, which by this point has degenerated further and further, even past Grade F meat and the restaurant is now serving trash culled from the dumpsters in the neighborhood. The poison kills several people the first night and more people than ever want to come to the restaurant.

Wrongway Gary tries to sell the restaurant again but everyone says they wouldn’t risk it, good way to kill a good thing. So Wrongway Gary begins to leave bits of food laying around the place until the whole establishment is filled with rats and roaches. The clientele becomes even more select and includes several high-ranking government officials with rumors that the president and his wife will be stopping in when they make a trip through town. Wrongway Gary, seeing no way out, blows up the restaurant and hundreds of people inside and waiting to get in. The debris extends for miles and is scooped up by ugly hophead pranksters, the bricks fetching hundreds of dollars on the internet. Wrongway Gary is toasted as the most radical businessman of the new age and is trumpeted as the people’s terrorist, the Fortune 500 mogul for the masses. He’s rich and respected so he kills himself.