Done with the Past (Never Ever Done)

You want to be a friend
Cuz none of this was planned
And you want to get everything you want
While I break my own hands
Writing out the list of everyone
That claims to understand
You say you want me to be happy
And you want to be happy
Like we're all just plastic
And separation doesn't change
The fucking packaging?
Well most everything I write
When it gets so cold at night
All this stuff that explodes out
And that everyone claims to like
It's all about how I had to start a new life
With my broken legs standing up
Leaning on anyone that will listen
Just to stand straight
And if everyone got to know you
Everyone would wonder what I showed you
Every single word that could separate us
Was written so I would walk out on everything you owe me
I know my actions were never right
I knew I shouldn't have left your side
But I can't do anything now
Because everything became about you
So fuck you for redefining my life
Fuck you for saying you'd be my wife
When your pants came off at every turn
Spreading your legs for Republican germs
Fat man in a dress
And some guy before Thanksgiving
Just because he wouldn't leave when you said
"Now it's time for bed"
I could have raised a fist to you
I could have knocked that razor right through your skin
But instead I just cried over you
I turned straight for you
And you crooked it all out again
Now I travel with an empty case
I keep it filled with my faith
It's like a voyage into deep space
Because the memory of you won't age
I travel with broken hands
And empty nicotine brands
I once spent 13 hours on a bus
Just to feel your touch
But I can't let your touch be the last
I can't reach what's out of grasp
So fuck you very much
And every could have been
Just leads to the should have beens
And I know I made some good points
Point with your finger
By extending the joint
Then fold those fingers back in
Then you've got a fist
Well mine are still clenched
And I can knock plaster to dust at this point
Does it sound like I'm fucking pissed?
Does it sound like I want to sleep with you again?
Both feelings still exist
Because my enemy is my favorite friend
Oh no, there's that word again
There's that dirty little label you want so bad
Well now it's my time to take away
Now it's my turn to make you sad
But you can always remember what we had
And how you threw it away without a second thought
Well afterthoughts are my only thoughts
Because life ended when we ended
And I'm glad you know how angry I've become
I'm glad that I don't have to play dumb
About my feelings anymore
About choosing between pain or numb
But don't take it too hard
It's just everything you did
I lowered my guard to build an us
And now that it's died, we can't make it live
So let's get back to talking about fists
Let's talk about how you crushed my heart in yours
And I clenched mine just because I did
And if I finally cease to exist
At least once I was myself
And I'd better never see you again
Because they're still clinched
And I can't vouch for your safety anymore
I can't hold my tongue like before
I might say more than I can afford
And my nails are digging into my palms
But my breathing is nice and calm
I've planned your death
And the thousand ways you'll come to harm
If you come back to me, I'll choke out that last breath
And then everything will be gone
I want to tell you "Fuck you, Greta"
But I think I still love you, Greta
But I have to end this vendetta
And challenge the past
To make the future better
And from the present
I'm shouting "Fuck you, Greta"