I never spoke
Just floated in the air like a ghost
Watched everyone in my life go broke
Bankrupted myself while making a toast
Found myself pointing at a globe
Holding nine fingers back
With just one out to touch the red hot stove
Used to walk around in a bathrobe
Not a fashion mistake
My middle finger was stuck
And that’s how I waved
As I ripped a phone book up
Giving you eighteen steps
I think my mind just woke up
While it was dead, I was making bets
Because this is what happens when you start the end of the world
Tearing up in your eye sockets
Because pain is a good way to get girls
This is what happens when you throw a fit
Hands try to stuff in my pockets
But something about the knuckles just won’t fit
I’m sucking on helium to sound funny
I’m chasing some opium dream I had
But it can’t seem to outrun me
I sucked the blood out of your veins
Put the needle back in your hand
And that’s why I will always take the blame
I tried to use a pencil to inject myself with lead
Killed myself so fast that I stood over myself
And laughed at me laying there dead
I’m looking over the angles of us
The puzzle pieces didn’t fit
I wasn’t a person, I was a container for drugs
I was never able to be legal
I had cancerous teeth
And a diseased ego
I cornered the market on oxygen
Now I’ll charge you to breathe
And you’ll just say that I’m evil
I always meet girls I just want to fuck
But they sucker me into something
And I swear each time that I’ll have better luck
Because this is what happens when you start the end of the world
Take your dick in your hand and think of the last time
You had a whole heart inside you
That didn’t take the form of a girl
This is what happens when you bury everything you hate
I was birthed prematurely through the asshole
And still managed to come out three months too late
I’m sharpening knives in my bedroom
Ready to walk into a gunfight
Dressed like a dead groom
I carried your picture
Long after you’d left
I told everyone you were happy
And knew I was lying to myself
Now I can almost reach my own ankles
Tearing up my hamstrings
To take it from both angles
I’m buying a life on layaway
My voice is so average
I’m in debt with nothing to say
Making a note of my steady decline
Like watching through someone else’s eyes
Placing all my money on a day that hasn’t arrived
I’m running around with a gun drawn
It’s tattooed on my hand
Like a ring you can’t pawn
And if you want lessons on how to end the world
Put your middle fingers up
And go get the girl
Because she destroys everything that makes it worth it
I can’t write anymore
Because I had to sell the alphabet
Now I’m relying on Cyrillic
I’m tripping over myself
To prove to you that I’m really sick
My head hurts from the stream that runs through it
These words are like me
Placeholders waiting for someone to let me do it
I could do this shit professionally
I could sell my stupid little life
And come out with a twelve dollar receipt