Of Thoughts Taken Back

I am tired from the rowing
The muscles ache from the strokes
Although the water's supple
It still takes an army to make it a mile

But I dreamed of a life without sleep
For better or worse
This is what we call progress
I only see you in an unglamorous light
You once said I made you the villain
Which doesn't speak too kindly of me
Yet how could you play the role so well
If the blame was all on my side?

But I've got a new life now
I've found a new stride
My footsteps don't betray
The furor that lies within
The downtrodden shuffle
I try so hard to hide

If I can make it past one more sunset
I know that I can last forever
The great mystery
To love and to be loved
What was once mine
Has slid now
Has righted itself
Has disappeared below mountains
Over canyons
And through meadows
Has fallen in circles
Like a leaf approaching the earth
Where the ground is always frozen
And mud blooms rather than flowers
I didn't choose to be here
No, I was forced
I handed control over to you
Like a ship's captain
Depending on the lighthouse
But you don't fix things
You break things
I said it once
I said it clear
I said, "Yes"
And thought there was some agreement
A careful hand was all I needed
Not this twisted dagger
Pull it from my back
It's been two years
I should be able to walk erect again
I should be able to believe in goodness again
But my angel fell to earth
To do the devil's bidding
A nod from hell
That's all she needed
But once I said "Yes"
And that's the only thing I ever need believe